Why do people have counselling?

People come to counselling for all sorts of reasons, but it is usually because there is something in their life that they want to change, which is causing them to feel distressed. Perhaps someone is seeking counselling because of what you might call a short-term crisis, such as, difficulties at work. Or perhaps someone wants to have counselling because many smaller, stressful things have happened in a short space of time and they are feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes people feel that now is the right time for them14642828_10211327004915777_1423842320_n to begin to explore how they have been affected by major events in their life, such as childhood trauma, or the death of a loved one, which they may have been trying to cope with for a long time.

Counselling offers you the opportunity to talk to someone impartial, who is there to offer acceptance and understanding for how you are feeling and what you have been through. This in itself can be very comforting, and while sharing in a safe, trusting relationship is a fundamental part of therapy, it is not the sole purpose of counselling. The aim is to provide this safe space as a foundation from which you are able to explore and make sense of your thoughts, feelings and experiences so that you can begin to ‘move forward’ again. In my experience as a counsellor, when people meet with me for the first time they are generally feeling stuck in some way and the emotions they present with may be stronger than usual for them, for example, they may be feeling more anxious than usual, more upset than usual. This is an indicator that something in their life is out of balance. Talking it through can be a huge relief.

We all have natural coping resources inside of us that are there to get us through difficult times. But sometimes those resources are ‘running on empty’ or completely overwhelmed by what you are dealing with and can become less effective. A counsellor can share the load that you are carrying and support you to get to a place where you are able to re-engage with your own natural ability to cope. Counsellors can also help you to think of new ways to support your emotional, psychological and overall health and wellbeing.

Copyright © 2016 Laura Hughes

The Emotional Impact of Illness

Physical health is often the sole focus of rehabilitation when you have been physically ill: emotional health tends to be forgotten, or you may not be offered help in the same way as for your physical health. Even when the focus is on your recovery from mental illness, you may not get the support you need.

Your life with or following your illness may be very different to life before, and can take a long time to adjust to. Being ill can itself be a traumatic experience, and the changes that follow may leave you feeling lost and alone. With any change comes a sense of loss and may be accompanied by feelings of grief.

Some of the changes you may experience include:

  • Loss of role and identity
  • Loss of confidence and self-esteem
  • Loss of independence
  • More emotional than before
  • Experience of anxiety, panic, depression, trauma

You may have found yourself literally fighting for your life, which can be both terrifying, and give you the opportunity to reassess your life. As joyful as it can be to recover from such an illness, you may be left feeling stunned, as the death you were preparing yourself for never came.

 Family Members, Friends and Carers

Family and friends can also experience huge changes when a loved one is ill. You may take on the role of carer, which can be a huge adjustment. You may experience feelings such as:

  • Guilt
  • Anxiety
  • Fatigue (emotional and physical)
  • Depression

You may also have traumatic memories of seeing your loved one struggle with their health both during and after their illness. When someone is ill, the focus is on them which can often leave those supporting that person feeling forgotten about as they too struggle through the daily challenges that illness brings.

Take some time to talk about it

Of course, we all experience ups and downs in life and problems that were around before your ill health (or your loved one’s ill health) may still be there for you to deal with. In the same way, ill health does not stop other things happening in your life. What may change is your ability to cope, especially if you are still dealing with any after-effects of your illness, or progressing with your recovery. Counselling is a safe place for you to explore the impact of your own or someone else’s physical and/or mental illness, as well as any other issues in your life.

Copyright © 2016 Laura Hughes